17 October 2007

Fallen Warrior Tribute

It's a war out there. Every day a battle for life, for breath. All around me lay fallen warriors. Struggle as they might, they finally fall.
Who is the great enemy? Who is it taking innocent lives? How could this continue? Why hasn't anyone done anything? The enemy is Cystic Fibrosis. It rages in a gripping battle inside each of us with CF. It is a cunning foe. Attacking from the inside so as to divide the battle between so many places. The liver, the kidneys, the pancreas, the lungs. It is a battle of hopeless intent. We will all fall eventually. It is not a matter of "if" but "when".
CF kills everyday. Will it be me next?
This is a blog memorial to my fallen brothers and sisters in lungs. So many that I know have died. Even now some days I have huge amounts of survivors guilt. And survivor jealousy.
Siblings, cousins, close friends, acquaintances. Some old some young. Most young. Most before they were able to find themselves. Running confused into their teenage years and never coming out. I have known many that have passed the test of CF. Their love and example ring out to me. Their strength fills me from beyond. I continue to struggle to show that somehow possibly we will overcome the enemy. But in my heart I know it is not possible and the best I can do is win a few battles before I lose the war.
September/October for some reason seems to be the time of loss for me. I have lost many friends in these 2 months. And just this month I found out that 3 friends from the past who I thought alive and well have all been dead for some time...
This was a major blow to me and really hurt. All I can do now is know that they are finished with the battles and the war. They finally are free and cured of CF.
So as I look back on September/October I will remember the ones I love and hopefully make them proud as I continue to fight.